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[May. 3rd, 2012|11:22 am] |
This is an interesting article: A new kind of couples therapy
Instead of traditional counseling, which is aimed at preserving the marriage, this type of counseling is aimed at making sure that both parties do the best thing possible, for themselves and for their future. In addition to working with the couple together, the counselor works with each individual to deal with the fall-out of a problematic marriage.
Some points that the article makes is that often when a couple gets into marital counseling, one of them is just doing it to soften the blow, or to make it appear that they made an effort. And the other person is (understandably) feeling blindsided and betrayed, which often leads to poor responses to the situation.
Quotes: "You can't divorce yourself. If people end a marriage without looking at their own contributions to the problems, they are leaving with a big blind spot. And the divorce rate in second marriages is even higher than first marriages."
This sounds like something I'd like to do as a profession. |
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| Bob update |
[Oct. 25th, 2011|11:48 am] |
Bob is now in a rehab hospital that's just a couple of minutes from home and I'm home again.
The cute short version is that Bob went in for a valve job, they did a tune-up first, and when they finished with the valve job they did a jump start then fixed the timing belt.
October has been a very emotionally exhausting month, and it's not over yet. I mentioned previously that his condition was such that they wanted to improve it before they operated - the Dr. who eventually did the surgery said that if they had operated on the first schedule, there would have been a 8-10% chance of Bob dying in surgery.
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They put the surgery off twice, from Monday to Wednesday to Thursday. After he was out of surgery, he had a respirator & a pump in his leg to give the heart a break. For a couple of days, the guy who was responsible removing the pump in the leg said he wouldn't do it until Bob got off the respirator; and the doctor who was going to take him off the respirator said he wouldn't do it until the leg pump was out. I was threatening to make them arm wrestle for who got to go last. While they had him on the respirator, they kept him completely sedated so that he wouldn't thrash around. After they got him off the respirator, he was still hooked up to a dozen or more separate IV drips, and had wires leading to his heart to monitor how well it was doing. Everything beeped, blooped, or made some other sound if something was wrong - everything from finishing up a bag of medicine to Bob's heart running the wrong way. The respirator sounded like a clown car everytime Bob tried to cough, and I swear one of the pump alarms is used on The Price Is Right.
At one point, a nurse came in to do something, so I went to play a game of solitaire for downtime. Looking up two seconds later, there were 8 assorted doctors, nurses and who knows gathered around the bed, and a big rollaround medical thing-y to one side. No one was actually doing anything but looking serious, and one of the people assured me that the cart was there "just in case". They dispersed again a few minutes later.
I suspect this is when they decided to to the "cardioversion". Essentially, they stopped the heart to see if it would come back running at the right speed. Fortunately for my peace of mind, they did this early, when I had gone to lunch. (I was back in time for the scheduled treatment, but when I got there, Bob was awake again and the staff were tidying up.)
After that, they decided to install a permanent pacemaker. This actually got done when they said it was going to be done. Amazing.
He was supposed to go to the rehab hospital the day after they put the pacemaker in, but they put it off one day because the numbers weren't right, then changed their minds while I was home doing laundry, then the rehab hospital wasn't ready while I was driving back to the hospital. Sheesh. We finally got him moved to the rehab hospital last Wednesday (leaving after 3 when they thought he would be leaving at 9). Very frustrating, but we were both relieved when he got there. At least now that he is there, they won't come up with another reason to do surgery. The rehab place is just a few minutes from home, so I can do round trips quickly if he wants something from home, and I can stay till it's just about time to go to sleep. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 24th, 2011|11:08 am] |
Seen on an AD/HD board:
"I don't want to be like you. I want to be like me, and for that to be okay." |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 7th, 2011|09:58 am] |
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Bob came through surgery yesterday quickly at least, but they've got him on both a respirator and an extra pump in his leg to give his heart a break. To keep him from freaking, they're keeping him unconscious. But he made it through the first night, so I think that's the most dangerous time. |
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| (no subject) |
[Oct. 4th, 2011|08:00 pm] |
Bob has been having problems breathing at night for about two months. After the usual trail of tests and doctors, we arrived at the hospital Monday to have a valve replaced in Bob's heart. He was scheduled for surgery Monday, but he was having so much trouble breathing when they were prepping him that they put off the surgery until Thursday, so they could get the problems causing the breathing issue under control.
We are hanging out in the hospital until then, and probably several days after as well. They even have a couch in the room for me to sleep on, so I don't have to go back home every night.
If any of my N. Dallas peeps want to come say hi, we're in room 615 in the Baylor Heart Hospital at Preston & 190. |
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| This was my weekend |
[Sep. 6th, 2011|03:40 pm] |
Saturday morning around 5AM, I woke up to a high pitched whine. Checked the ears first, no it's not the tinnitus. I determined that the sound was coming from the AC, so I turned that off. Whine not only is still whining, but is louder now that the AC is not making noise.
Then I remembered that I had put a water alarm in the space under the AC. I open that up and grab it, yep, there's water under there. And the alarm has gone from high-pitched to piercing. (Note that I heard it over the AC, through a door and two rooms away, in my sleep!) I dry the contacts off enough to turn the sound off, then go back to sleep.
After we have breakfast, Bob and I drained the tub that we have in that space to catch drips. This can be a bit of a comedy routine, as Bob doesn't remember how to run the drill pump and it takes a couple of false starts to convince him I'm right, then another couple of false starts before we get it going. Meanwhile, I'm laying flat on the tile floor trying to keep the intake hose under water while he checks everything. But we got it drained, wipe our forehead in relief, and go back to our normal futzing around.
Then, Saturday night I got food poisoning. Really, really bad food poisoning. Fortunately, I have some medicine which stops the, errrr, top half of the resulting problem. Although I don't think the first dose stayed down long enough to help. When Bob got home, he helped me get a second dose and get together enough to get in bed. Which is a good thing, since the medicine not only stops nausea, it puts me out like a light.
I slept till noon Sunday, when Mom called, then slept till two, and got up just on principle. Bob got home around 3 PM (he had morning shift) and when he went to take a nap (which he usually does when he works morning shift), I went with him. And slept another 3-4 hours. I did manage to eat an egg and some oatmeal for supper, then went to bed and zonked again.
Yesterday, I worked from home. I was feeling better, but then I found that the AC was still draining into the house, but not into the tub like it was supposed to. *sigh* We did some more stuff to make it drain, and the rest of the day I put towels into the area to soak up the water, then switched them out for more towels when the previous ones got soaked. In between pretending to actually be working.
I need a week off. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 24th, 2011|01:40 pm] |
I think this may be the first record I ever bought that wasn't a kiddie song.
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 23rd, 2011|10:35 pm] |
Language meme:
Age: 49
Where did you grow up: Fort Worth, Texas
What do you call:
1. A body of water, smaller than a river, contained within relatively narrow banks?
Creek (or "crick")
2. What's the thing you push around the grocery store called?
basket or buggy or cart (I'm most likely to call it a basket, but when I ask Bob to get me a "basket", he always returns with one of those things with handles that you have to carry)
3. A metal container to carry a meal in?
lunchbox
4. The thing that you cook bacon and eggs in?
pan
5. The piece of furniture that seats three people?
Couch
6. The device on the outside of the house that carries rain off the roof?
gutters
7. The covered area outside a house where people sit in the evening?
patio, unless it's part of the house itself, in which case it's a porch
8. Carbonated, sweetened, non-alcoholic beverages?
Soda or soda pop. Growing up, we always asked for what we wanted - Coke, in my case. When I worked at Six Flags, some people would ask for a soda pop, which required -ok, which flavor?
9. A flat, round breakfast food served with syrup?
pancakes
10. A long sandwich designed to be a whole meal in itself?
sub, but they didn't really exist around here until I was older
11. The piece of clothing worn by men at the beach?
swimsuit
12. Shoes worn for sports?
sneakers or tennies
13. Putting a room in order?
cleaning
14. A flying insect that glows in the dark?
firefly (eta - or lightning bug)
15. The little insect that curls up into a ball?
pillbug
16. The children's playground equipment where one kid sits on one side and goes up while the other sits on the other side and goes down?
see-saw
17. How do you eat your pizza?
with my hands, flat, pointy end first.
18. What's it called when private citizens put up signs and sell their used stuff?
garage sale
19. What's the evening meal?
dinner
20. The thing under a house where the furnace and perhaps a rec room are?
basement
21. What do you call the thing that you can get water out of to drink in public places?
water fountain.
Here's a bonus one - when I come home with groceries, I put them up. If I put something in long-term storage, I'm putting it away. This confused Bob for a long time |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 18th, 2011|05:49 pm] |
I just finished a book called "Halfway Hexed". I definitely do not recommend it - it's probably going to get left here...
However, there's this one passage I want to save. Since it's not worth actually saving the book for, I'm putting it here. The setup is that the main character is a witch, the world council of witches is trying to take over her town, and currently there's a magic fog in town. (The story is set in a small town in Texas SE of Dallas, so fog isn't completely unheard of) The heroine is talking to her best friend.
[the heroine asks] "What are people saying about the fog?"
"Well, that it's a sign that the world's coming to an end, of course. You know that the group on Sycamore always says that. It's a sign. The car wash machine breaks down. It's a sign. A couple of flowerbeds die. It's a sign. At this rate, the world would've ended twenty-seven times since August. This fog is just weather, that's all. It can't always be sunny . That's not normal. This is Texas, not California. We go in for a little rain and fog now and again."
...
"Besides, we all read Revelations. If it's the end times, where are the four cowboys of the apocalypse? Shouldn't they be trotting down Main Street? I'll tell you, I'm getting so sick of people quoting scripture willy-nilly. The Bible ain't a country song with twenty-five lines. It's complicated and we'd better be careful about how we interpret it. Maybe God'll hear those Sycamore folks calling everything a sign, and He'll start thinking Duvall's ready for the end when there's plenty of us who aren't. We just got that brand-new jukebox for Jammers, and people are enjoying the heck out of it. All I'm saying is, I don't think we should give God any ideas about ending things. Just let Him take His time. He'll do it when He's ready"
I want to say something like this the next time someone mentions "the end times". Where are the four cowboys of the apocolypse? And did you consider that you might be giving God ideas? |
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